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Nobody’s perfect. I have had many many hiccups, and lost my shit, yelled at my kids and then felt AWFUL. Sometimes I feel like a complete asshole. The tips I’m about to get into are from trial and error and a constant attempt at trying to be a good mama.
TEAM WORK. If you are co-parenting I think it’s imperative that you have a united front with your partner or anyone else who is involved with raising your kid/s. Think Mother-n-law, nanny, babysitter, day care, etc. It’s important that you set a tone for discipline and everyone follows that tone. If you don’t, you could be wasting your time.
Never make empty threats. If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT. If you don’t stand by what you say, you’re kids won’t take you seriously. I like to give warnings before I completely take something away or give a strong punishment.
Be Specific: I give specific examples of a privilege that will be taken away if they don’t listen and follow my instructions. If you don’t stop hitting your brother, you’re going to lose your tv privileges for the whole day. Make sure they completely understand what they are going to lose if they continue their negative behaviour. It’s best to be specific with what exactly will happen to them if they continue. Don’t say something like “you’re going to get into trouble” that might not mean much to them. What is “trouble” anyway. Don’t say things like “I’m going to turn this car around and take you home” unless you MEAN it. Don’t say “I’m cancelling the trip to Disneyland” unless you absolutely 100% mean it. I think it’s best to have a lot of little privileges that you can potentially take away. Another example of a privilege I take away is a special snack.
REDIRECT! If it looks like one of my kids is about to lose their shit, have a melt down or do something they shouldn’t I try to redirect their attention. If they’re having trouble sharing a toy I will remind them of all the other toys they have to play with and maybe hand them a new one.
Encourage GOOD behaviour. Keep a star or sticker chart in a visible place and give them a sticker when they demonstrate good behaviour. My boys love being acknowledged when they do something positive. They are exceptionally motivated by earning stickers. When they reach a certain number of stickers or points they get various treats. Maybe it’s a trip to get ice-cream or a movie date.
In MY experience my boys act out when they’re not getting enough attention from my husband and I, when they’re off their routine and when they’ve had too much sugar. Knowing all those things, I try to be really mindful of how I run the day. To help with my daily parenting routine I use the TIMER all the time. You can watch that video to get a better understanding of how it’s helped me.
Lead by example! Kids learn by watching you so be a good leader. It’s up to you as the parent to show your kids how to be a good human.
Sharzad is a host, podcaster and Youtuber known for being funny, honest and relatable. She is a pioneer in digital space and has been creating, producing and hosting content for over 8 years. She has worked with some of the biggest online networks and has hosted shows on BravoTv.com, The Design Network and popular YouTube channels like Mixed Makeup, The Mom’s View, Weight Watchers and Clevver Style. She recently co-founded a mom vertical called FAM: For All Moms. Sharzad is a mom of 2, a UCLA graduate and has studied improv at Second City Chicago and Groundlings in Hollywood.
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